Social awareness and progressivism have become increasingly important to many people, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Unfortunately, some choose to capitalize on this tendency by pretending to be more socially conscious and smart than they actually are in an attempt to attract partners. This is known as wokefishing.
The bad news is that it can be frustrating and even harmful for those looking for a genuine connection. The good news is that it’s often easy to see past the deception once you know what to look for.
Here are three signs that someone you’re interested in is probably waking you up.
1. They seem to agree with you on every aspect of every issue you’re passionate about
What you want to look for in a romantic partner is compatibility that isn’t overly dependent on the arrangement. You want to look for someone to have productive discussions with who will help you explore different (and unique) perspectives on the issues that interest you.
For example, if you’re someone who cares deeply about equal pay, chances are a compatible partner also believes that people should be compensated fairly for their work, regardless of gender. They can also introduce nuanced topics about the nature of the job, workplace safety, and so on, to add perspective to the discussion. A wokefisher, on the other hand, is likely to simply agree with you and not offer his real experiences, thoughts, and perspectives on the issue of equal pay.
Furthermore, it is not necessarily the level of agreement between partners that determines the success of a relationship, but rather the ability to communicate and handle disagreements in a healthy way. A recent study published in Human communication research supports this idea, finding that the similarity or difference in political views between partners is less significant than the quality of communication and conflict resolution strategies used when addressing political issues.
2. They appear to have only a superficial understanding of the issues they claim to care about
Wokefishers may try to impress you with buzzwords or slogans without really understanding their meaning or have only a cursory understanding of complex issues such as systemic oppression or privilege. They may engage in only superficial activism, such as posting about social issues on social media or participating in protests, without actively participating in social justice efforts or contributing to meaningful change.
It’s important to be aware of this type of behavior, as it can be frustrating for those seeking a genuine connection with someone who shares their values.
Some questions that can help you gauge whether someone’s interest in a social cause is genuine are:
- Why are they interested in the cause?
- What have they learned from their involvement in the cause?
- Do they wish they were doing more for the cause? If so, what steps are they taking to get to where they want to be?
True social awareness requires more than just knowledge of popular terms and ideas, it requires a deep understanding and commitment to fairness and justice. If someone seems to be pretending to be awake just to be with you, it’s important to be extremely cautious and take things slowly.
3. They obsess over their social media presence and are inconsistent with their opinions
Yet another sign that your potential partner is a wokefisher is if their social media looks and reads like a documented account of what social cause was trending each week.
While it’s certainly possible that they’re curious about every trending cause, it’s unlikely that every cause has resonated with them enough for them to take a stand publicly. If they seem to be using their social media to overemphasize their social justice credentials, try asking them how the social causes they care about have evolved over the years, and be curious as to why they felt the need to take a stand.
A 2023 study explains that with virtue signaling becoming a common way to communicate our goodness to others, it is increasingly difficult to differentiate between people who sincerely share our values and those who are only interested in appearing that way to establish a social proof.
Try challenging your potential partner’s views on a social cause they’ve posted a strong opinion about, and watch their reaction. A wokefisher is likely to bow and take sides from your opinion, which can be an obvious sign that it’s false.
Conclusion
Being aware of the signs of a wokefisher can help you avoid potential heartbreak and disappointment. He reminds that true social awareness and progressivism are not just about buzzwords and superficial activism. By keeping these dead giveaways in mind, you can better navigate the world of social justice and dating and find a partner who shares your values and commitment to social justice.
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